MY DAD & MY SON

 

In the past year, these 2 humans have become so poignant in my life. My father as he is in Ireland and I can't sit with him and my son because I'm so unsure what I've signed him up for by giving him life. When My Dad was born in the 40's life was pretty mapped out and small. He grew up on the northside of Dublin, went to school, kept the same friends, got a job kept that job for 30 years and now he is at peace and not scared of anything. My father is all-knowing.  

 

As his daughter born in the 80's life was bottomless with possibilities to be joyful. And I was happy. Several career lots of education, friends all over the planet, the internet for endless knowledge...

 

Then I had my son in 2016. Now we're in a global pandemic and he's missing knowing the serenity offered by my father to me. He has seen my growing general anxiety about the impending extinction I struggle to hide from him. I simply can't be calm about his future as I know and have seen too much to be certain about his safety on this planet. 

 

My son is playful and loving. He doesn't really have friends due to lockdown restrictions. He knows a great deal about how to correctly wash his hands. He loves his parents and the people he lives with. He is joyful. My son is unaware.